The Waiting Game

Since the cardiologist ever so conveniently dropped the ball on putting in a referral for me to see a civilian obstetrician, I have been in Tricare limbo...waiting for a piece of paper. My due date is still far enough away for me not to be really worried (yet). I would, on the other hand, like a chance to be relatively comfortable with the person who's sole responsibility is to ensure I have a baby without any undue complications. The doctor actually called me yesterday morning, and we have an appointment to "talk" Friday morning. Maybe by then I'll have an official referral so I won't feel like a criminal slinking in back doors to meet with doctors "off the radar". Dr. Downing seems to be a pretty down to earth kind of guy. One would have to be, I guess, specializing in cases that have to be rushed next door to Children's. The man could show up in an Elvis costume and I can't say that I would mind much, as long as he's good at his job. I know this is REALLY early to say...but if I ever have another child, that baby will be born in a inflatable pool in my living room. Smiling? I couldn't be more serious. After what I saw of this hospital, and the minimal care I'm expecting for myself, all I can hope is that we're doing what is best for this baby. At times, it's hard to convince myself that the right thing to do is subject such a small, helpless child to these unimaginable things...not knowing what the outcome will be. The other options are just as difficult, and how could doing nothing be right?